I’ve stayed clear of this debate, but we’ve reached a new low…
Being a parent isn’t for everyone, I certainly understand that and do not fault anyone for making a conscience decision not to partake. That said, the greatest thing I ever did was choose to have children. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, they are my greatest accomplishment. They are my sunshine. They are my reason for breathing.
The good times, the bad, the sad and even sometimes the disappointing, are all an ache in my heart which I’ve come to know as unconditional love to the umpteenth degree. Anyone who is a parent can attest to the level of constant worry that becomes ingrain within your soul the moment you fall in love with your child. It’s an unexplainable knot in your stomach, even when things are going smoothly. Raising children is not easy, it’s the hardest job we will ever do and it requires complete selflessness, time devotion and sometimes thick skin to weather the rough years. It is akin to placing your heart on your sleeve and allowing it to be influenced 24 hours a day by another being’s ups, downs and in betweens… It is the most powerful connection on earth, and it is worth every moment to feel that amount of love.
When I was pregnant with my oldest, the doctor thought I was losing her and ordered an ultrasound. There on the monitor, as clear as day, was her little tiny rice-sized heartbeat, strong and confident assuring me that she was just fine. I was 6 weeks pregnant at the time. Could she have lived outside the womb at that moment? No, but she certainly was thriving in our shared environment, thank God. A month or so later, I remember I said to a priest that I was to be a mother in several months… His response very simply was, “you already are.” Such a powerful statement…
One thing I know for certain, is that in my 7th or 8th month, had I taken ill requiring them to bring my daughter out into the world a bit earlier than anticipated, she would most likely have thrived and survived as many preemies do. Her life would not have to be ended in order to save mine. Pretending that this is a valid reason for late term abortion, is a futile attempt at justifying the creation of a law which tries to validate an act that has been disputed by obstetricians themselves. Why have we forgotten that there are many who long to have children and who would love to adopt and raise that child as their own? Why did we have to give an avenue to termination up until the day of birth? I know with complete certainty that you do not have to give birth to a child to be a mother – that love is transferable, and there are many who would love to step up and raise these unwanted babies for those who do not want the responsibility. Giving a child up for adoption could be the first selfless act of a mother, the simple act of putting the child’s needs ahead of their own. That would be a courageous act to celebrate.
To those who instead celebrate the milestone of aborting a baby up to the day of birth, I ask how have we gotten to this point? And how can anyone possibly think this is okay? Even many pro-choice advocates are horrified at this complete disregard for life. How did we get to a place where we are saying that the death penalty is too cruel for cold blooded murderers, and kill shelters are inhumane for unwanted animals, but we advocate for the death of a completely viable baby? I am heartbroken.
In 50 years, I have never met anyone who has regretted having a child. Whether keeping the child was an easy choice or a difficult one; even in the case of children with special needs or medical issues… I’ve seen exhaustion, frustration and even desperation, but never regret. In contrast I have met many who wish they could take back their legal ‘choice’ and opt for wearing their heart on their sleeve. I realize that not all agree with me, but I do believe I was a mother the moment I conceived, and my first act as a mother would be nothing short of protecting my child. Life is a gift and a miracle, and something to be cherished.
I don’t think New York’s Governor Cuomo is the hero he is proclaiming to be. I believe his legacy will be that of someone who managed to make murder of the most innocent, a law and a right. In writing this article I read much on this procedure that the Governor claims fame to and each and every word was met with tears in my eyes. I weep for the babies lost, the mother’s misguided and the entire state of New York for having to shoulder the burden of being number 1 to this atrocity.
To me, this is beyond the pro-life/choice debate. This is pro-decency. Moving forward as he buckles under the weight of all the tiny caskets he bears, I hope that something within his heart opens up wide enough to see the gravity of what he has done. I am very aware that it is not my place to judge, and that my opinion means nothing to many. I’m only sharing my dismay, like the thousands of others who are full of disgust right now, in hopes that somehow, someway we as a nation realize we have gone too far and that the gates we have opened are far from pearly.