The ‘Unfriend’ Revealed

It shouldn’t matter, because truth be told, in most cases you don’t REALLY consider yourself friends in the definitive sense with the person who shall-not-be-named. But for some reason, the accidental finding out of a Facebook unfriending does cause a bit of a jolt.

I think its human nature, or just curiosity, more than genuine concern in wanting to know why?  Was it something I said on my page?  Did they see me like or comment on something that they abhorrently did not agree with and suddenly can’t see past a difference of opinion?  Or was it the undeniable underlying mutual indifference for each other that they finally decided to act upon when purging their friend’s list?

In truth, the latter is the one I can actually respect. If we became Facebook ‘friends’ simply out of necessity because of a social commitment or circles we frequent, I can certainly see deciding to sever the tie and opt for a more close-knit circle of trust on a platform that has become a bit of an alternate universe for some.  I have been guilty of the same thing on occasion. That said, if the ‘unfriender’ actually lives in the same town, it’s quite the statement to make on their part.  Kudos to them for taking the first step, and an even bigger bravo to me for uncovering it.  Should we meet face to face, just for fun, I can seemingly innocently bring up Facebook and watch them squirm in discomfort having them think they know something I don’t know. Oh the fun I can have! Hmmm, maybe this part of my personality IS why they unfriended me?  Food for thought…

Anyway, I have heard tale of quite a few drive-by unfriendings on the basis of politics.  People?  Must we? Here’s the thing, I may not like your politics, but if I like YOU then I can learn to persevere. If I simply can’t bear the sight of your forthrightness, then I can always scroll by your posts on my feed, while still keeping you as a Facebook friend.  No harm, no foul, no immaturity and no intolerance.  This may shock some, but sometimes I actually like to hear a well thought out difference of opinion.  I want to know where you are coming from and why.  Help me understand and in turn I will gladly enlighten you to my views.  I’ve lived long enough to know that an opinion on a matter or two does not define a person as a whole.  We are complicated beings, with many layers, and that is exactly what we should embrace about one another. In the end we will probably still disagree, but respectfully and that is the American way. As of late, we’ve resorted to flinging insults at those with differing opinions and sadly if we’ve lost the ability to have a healthy debate, or more importantly to respectfully agree to disagree, then we’ve lost all that we ever were as people and a country.  But I digress…

I guess the bottom line is that someday our Facebook pages may very well serve as memorials. I’m sure we’ve all sadly seen a few already.  When that time comes, we all have the right to ensure that the people on that page are people we loved, liked or briefly met for an impactful enough time to add them to our page of friends.  I can honestly say that those on my page, some who I haven’t seen for years and quite a few with differing opinions than mine, have all touched my life in some way or another and for that I am grateful.  So feel free to stay, or if you must take flight I understand and wish you well.  It’s a big world with a small window of time to be present, make your mark, state your peace and own your part. I could never fault someone for keeping it real.