So, if we listen to the voices of some, we are to believe that in every incident of crying foul play, the woman is to be believed above the man who is undoubtedly a liar. There is no fall back on the old adage of innocent until proven guilty, and it is justifiable to tear down a boy/man in a public forum and give them the burden of proving their innocence in a word-against-word fight… I thought we had learned our lesson with the Duke Lacrosse team debacle back in 2006, but apparently our memories are short.
If the male, especially one of a certain demographic and influence, cannot come up with a plausible alibi or concrete evidence of their innocence, even if the supposed incident happened well over 30 years ago, frankly too bad. Their career must be demolished, their young daughters must be made aware of their father’s unsubstantiated debauchery and they must pay heavily for the words of one woman who swears by her recollection.
Here’s what I know about when I was age fifteen through eighteen or so. I was not brilliant and I was immature and I exercised poor judgement more often than I should. Throughout the teenage years there were shared moments of irresponsibility between myself and other teenagers simply because we were all too immature to fully commit to the angels on our shoulders. I don’t know many who can’t say “I’m lucky I made it past those years.” In the instances of boy-girl relations during that formative time, I have known and have been friends with girls who, instead of owning their varied situations, would put a dubious spin on the story to justify their poor behavior and the choices they made. I assume it was much easier to cry foul on the part of someone else rather than to say they got swept up in the moment. I can honestly say that over time they began to believe their spin, I guess it suited their emotional needs.
I don’t know Dr. Ford’s truth, but I do feel she believes what she says and that she has suffered some sort of emotional and/or physical trauma. That said, I also know that people are able to rearrange a story in their mind to an extent where they fully believe it to be true in exactly the way they pose it. I’m not saying that is what happened here, because I can’t obviously, I wasn’t there. Nor were the barrage of people who are crucifying Kavanaugh based on conjecture. Perhaps there is truth behind Dr. Ford’s story, but there is also a strong possibility that it is not exactly the way she remembers it; that is not saying that she is recounting things differently out of malice, it could very well be a defense mechanism. Again, I don’t know because I don’t know her, or him, and I wasn’t there over 30 years ago. I may be just surmising, but since her 4 corroborating witnesses debunked her account, I have no basis to believe her recollection over Judge Kavanaugh. I am certainly not going to give her greater credence simply because she is a woman and they should be believed over men, I don’t agree with that. I also don’t agree with the many who are appalled by Judge Kavanaugh’s anger at the situation in the hearings. This woman, who he adamantly denies he attacked when he was a 17-year-old child himself, has destroyed his wife, his daughters, his parents and his good name. Why should he be apologetic if he is innocent, which there is no evidence he is not? Why shouldn’t he be furious that his family is hurting unnecessarily? That is what we do as humans, we protect the ones we love and we stand up for them. I know many amazing men, and women for that matter, and if any of them were ever to go through the accusations and indignity of this circus, my heart would ache for them, I would cry with them, and I would expect them to fight just as vehemently as the Judge is doing. There was no fairness in the way this situation was handled, and that in itself is a let down to this great Country as well as the accuser and the defender.
We are going down a very slippery slope. Moms of sons hold on to your babies, because whether they did something nefarious or not, the time has come where someone of the opposite sex can make the accusation and tear their life apart in a split second. Don’t assume that because you’ve taught them how to treat a lady and your son “would never behave like that’ that they are untouchable with this new normal. Innocent until proven guilty no longer exists for the men in our society when they are accused of this behavior. It takes one woman with a vendetta, or an emotional issue which causes her to see something in a light that it was not intended, to bring your son down. Be careful those who dig in with this type of thought process; in your vast attempt to tear men down and apart, you have become the perpetrators of an equally heinous crime. You have wiped your moral compass of the very thing you fight for: equality for all, human dignity and fair judgement.
Finally, and most importantly, do not mistake this article for negating the atrocity of rape, which is undeniably inexcusable and a crime worthy of the heaviest punishment. NO ONE is to be violated against their will. But that said, the constant flinging of the words “sexual assault and harassment” in instances of inappropriateness or childish poor judgement are minimizing the true and deep wounds from actual atrocities committed. As of late, it seems that some accusations are being used as weapons, and we all know that weapons are not always wielded in self-defense, sometimes they are simply pulled out to do another harm. The quick rush to use those words in instances not warranted, can also be a bit hypocritical. I have heard women speak in sexual tones and behave in ways that would make a truck driver blush.
Innocent until proven guilty. Period. I don’t know the truth in the Kavanaugh situation, but just as I won’t jump to conclusions about her, I also will not condemn a man for an act he denies ever committing, and for which there is no evidence to corroborate those allegations.
Fairness, for all. Not less fairness for men, simply because they are men. Those who have jumped on the man-hate train, it’s time to hop off before a male you love is hit head on and you fully understand the gravity of what is becoming commonplace. We are on a crash course with this nonstop identity politics, political correctness and polarizing partisan atmosphere. It is clouding human decency and turning a once tolerant and respectful nation into a state of constant chaos. God help us all.